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  • Writer's pictureNeeta Mardia

No blame divorce? But they ARE to blame!

Updated: Jan 24, 2023

The advent of No Fault Divorce is designed to reduce the conflict and recrimination that can ensue when you are navigating an already emotionally-fraught time.

However, if you feel you’ve been wronged by your spouse, maybe through infidelity or mistreatment/abuse, “no fault” may not sit well with you. You may feel you need the vindication of assigning blame where it’s due.

How has the law changed?

From April 2022, the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 came into effect, meaning proving fault is no longer necessary. Moreover, the process can be done digitally. The legislation change also

  • removes the possibility of contesting the divorce

  • introduces a joint application option

  • changes language into plain English— ‘decree nisi’ becomes a “conditional order”, while ‘decree absolute’ becomes a “final order”

  • It’s also the same when dissolving civil partnerships.

  • You can apply online for a fee of £593, and you can apply for a fee remission is you meet certain criteria

Is assigning blame in divorce beneficial to you?

No matter how much you want the legal recognition that your spouse was in the wrong, the new system really offers you the chance to move on with your life more quickly, without drawn-out, angry (and expensive) legal proceedings.

As a family law solicitor, I’ve helped many people through sometimes acrimonious break-ups. I noticed that when the couple manage to work through the process avoiding open battle (no matter how tempting or justified) their mental health benefited and their healing process was always smoother. The change in law really is a monumental step forward, which is the view of the majority of my fellow family law practitioners.

How my book can help

The main reason I wrote my book is it really is time to leave blame behind. Breaking up is hard enough – without adding bitterness and recrimination through the divorce. However, when emotions are involved this is easier said than done!

As outlined in Chapter Two of my book, we invariably go through the same grieving emotions as if someone has passed away. You may be relieved it’s over, but it is still a loss of the dreams you had when you got married. Ultimately though, we have to take responsibility for our own emotions.

Let’s say your spouse had an affair, or perhaps they treated you poorly, or left everything in the house for you to deal with. You’ve reached breaking point and you are going to feel aggrieved; it’s only natural. But at some point, reality and choices made, must be faced up to.

The book takes you through the whole process in easy-to-manage chunks. It also includes lots of tips on how to improve or maintain your mental health. And, if you feel you need help for the process, please do get in touch and we can discuss how my consultancy can support you.


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